The most important value I bring to every interaction is respect for the individual. With that as a guide, I suggest this technique, supported by multiple studies on thousands of people, and it’s the easiest, most practical persuasion technique available. Try the ‘But You Are Free’ (BYAF) technique. This simple approach is all about reaffirming people’s freedom to choose. When you ask someone to do something, you add on the sentiment that they are free to choose. By reaffirming their freedom you are indirectly saying to them that they have an easy out to say no. They have free choice.
A recent review of the 42 psychology studies carried out on this technique has shown that it is highly effective. (Carpenter, 2013). Over 22,000 people have been tested by researchers and the studies found it doubled the chances that someone would say ‘yes’ to the request. People have been shown to donate more too good causes, agree more readily to a survey and give more to someone asking for a bus fare home.
The exact words used are not especially important. What is important is that the request is made face-to-face: the power of the technique drops off otherwise. Even over email, though, it does still have an effect, although it is somewhat reduced.
The BYAF technique is so simple and amenable that it can easily be used in conjunction with other approaches. It also underlines the fact that people hate to be hemmed in or have their choices reduced. We seem to react against this attempt to limit us by becoming more closed-minded. The BYAF technique, as with any good method of persuasion, is about helping other people come to the decision you want through their own free will. If they have other options, like simply walking away, and start to feel corralled, then you can wave them goodbye.
On the other hand, respecting people’s autonomy has the happy side-effect of making them more open to persuasion. You can look good and be more likely to get what you want. It’s all about respect for the individual with the intent of team centric collaboration.